Oh man I need to do something about this whole waking up after 6 hours of sleep and then reading and trying to nap for the next 2 hours. It's killing me when I'm trying to actually wake up. Plus that dang snooze button-- "5 more minutes" turns into 30. Well, it's Tuesday. That three day weekend was entirely too short, but this week is pretty much going to whizz by with our event this Friday.
It's been hard for me to be motivated at work lately. We just did this "culture" survey about how we feel about the organization, and after filling it out, it made me really wonder whether I want to stay where I'm at. Don't get me wrong--I love the Club where I'm working. I love the people, I love the kids (most of the time), and I love the atmosphere that has been built up over the past five years of working there. I don't trust the organization as a whole, and when filling out that survey and writing in some of my answers, I realized how discontent I am. I keep hearing "things are changing," and I believe it; I just wonder how I'm going to put my trust in an organization that mismanaged and didn't hold people accountable, and then let it's employees suffer for it. I don't know, maybe that's an oversimplification, but it's the way I feel. It's hard for me to even want to go to work some days. But maybe it's just this crazy weather we're having. It's almost June. When is the sun coming out?!?
On a lighter note, I had a mini getaway to Portland two weekends ago, did a little remodel of my bedroom and now--you can see floor woohoo, and tackled the backyard to prepare for summer bbqing...and a whole lot more. I unfortunately am still not done completely dominating my apartment into a clean, organized, beautiful living space, but it'll get there soon! And Portland. Portland was so empty! We were there and the downtown area(s) were totally devoid of people. Nobody really walking around on the street (except homeless and they were nice), but other than that it just seemed so barren. We found people at the Saturday Market, and then encountered a small bustle of people near Powells, and oh my goodness had a great breakfast at By The Way Cafe, but other than that, I wasn't really digging it. Maybe I need to go with a local next time? Who knows.
Last thing on the whole catch up list--I'm going to start doing my 100 Days of Weight Loss blogging over at my other page Dynamic Leap It's where I started this whole weight loss adventure, and I don't want this blog to turn into a weight loss journal. So, if you're digging that type of stuff, you will find it there.
Welp, I'm off to get ready for work. Weekend come quickly!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Blue Wednesday
Do you ever have those kind of days when you just want to curl up in your bed and hide from the world? Today was one of those days. I don't know if it's the rainy weather, my general discontent with my work life, or just a blah mood--but all I wanted to do was go home. I figured I should check in and say I'm still alive...stagnant on Day 4. I'll get back on track...just need to get rid of these blues :)
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Away
I've been away for far too long. I have a lot to write about but alas I shall have to finish absorbing the weekend then write about it later this week. What a weekend!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Day 3: Frustration!
I was awoken at 4am this morning by some irrational, angry tenants. I don't want to relive the details, but everyone knows how much I hate having empty apartments, and I want their apartment to be empty right now--that's how frustrating they are! But, there were some pluses to waking up early. I cleaned all of the common areas in my apartment, and I cleaned the entire apartment building. I got some filing done, and I'm feeling caught up and good about life in general. I think the BFF and I are going to take a spontaneous trip to PDX this weekend with our bikes! I'm super stoked!
Today's 100DOWL topic was "Do it anyway." It talked about how we get all stoked and motivated, but at some point or another we're not going to FEEL like exercising, or cooking a healthy meal, or staying away from the sweets, and the book's advice--do it anyway. This is one of my favorite chapters because it reminds me that there are plenty of things that I don't want to do all the time--but I do them because they're important. Am I important to myself? Is my health important? If so--I stay committed and "do it anyway." Yoga-check. Eating healthy-check. Mostly staying away from sweets--half check. Ate two unplanned cookies today, but stayed away from other sugar temptations :)
Today I read the first part of Matt 6 (1:18). I stopped at 18 because I feel like there's so much to say about the last half of the chapter, plus these first verses have so much in common. The basic message is if you do good things in order to get recognition from people, that's all the recognition you're going to get. If you give to the needy and shout it from the rooftops, pray to be seen by men, or fast so people KNOW you're fasting, all the props and admiration you get from said people are your reward. If you do these things discretely, God rewards you. I think it goes back to the fact of letting your light shine so people can see your works and praise God. If you're doing things purely to bring attention and admiration to yourself, you motives aren't pure and you just don't get it.
There's always that question of--if you're doing good, what's the difference anyway? I kind of think about it in the way of kids doing good only because someone's watching. When people aren't watching, they don't behave, but when they know an adult's watching, or they get a prize, they behave. They don't do it because they understand it's the right thing to do, or have the right motives--they do it out of fear of getting in trouble, or because they only want props--but 99% of the time in their downtime they're doing something completely OPPOSITE of good. God wants us to give, and pray, and fast, because we understand his heart behind it. We give so that others can feel his love and compassion. We pray so that we can hear from him. We fast so that we can be more in tune with him...something about pushing aside our physical wants to become more connected to the spiritual. Anyway, if someone's doing these things for props or to avoid hell, they're not really getting it. The behavior lasts for a moment, but isn't true...and that's not what God wants.
He wants us to understand love, compassion, generosity, and the amazing feeling of giving up what we want and getting something so much more amazing in return. His motives are good, and what he has for us is amazing. I pray that I will not do things because it's "what I'm supposed to do," but because I understand and believe in the motives behind it. It's good to be reminded :)
Today's 100DOWL topic was "Do it anyway." It talked about how we get all stoked and motivated, but at some point or another we're not going to FEEL like exercising, or cooking a healthy meal, or staying away from the sweets, and the book's advice--do it anyway. This is one of my favorite chapters because it reminds me that there are plenty of things that I don't want to do all the time--but I do them because they're important. Am I important to myself? Is my health important? If so--I stay committed and "do it anyway." Yoga-check. Eating healthy-check. Mostly staying away from sweets--half check. Ate two unplanned cookies today, but stayed away from other sugar temptations :)
Today I read the first part of Matt 6 (1:18). I stopped at 18 because I feel like there's so much to say about the last half of the chapter, plus these first verses have so much in common. The basic message is if you do good things in order to get recognition from people, that's all the recognition you're going to get. If you give to the needy and shout it from the rooftops, pray to be seen by men, or fast so people KNOW you're fasting, all the props and admiration you get from said people are your reward. If you do these things discretely, God rewards you. I think it goes back to the fact of letting your light shine so people can see your works and praise God. If you're doing things purely to bring attention and admiration to yourself, you motives aren't pure and you just don't get it.
There's always that question of--if you're doing good, what's the difference anyway? I kind of think about it in the way of kids doing good only because someone's watching. When people aren't watching, they don't behave, but when they know an adult's watching, or they get a prize, they behave. They don't do it because they understand it's the right thing to do, or have the right motives--they do it out of fear of getting in trouble, or because they only want props--but 99% of the time in their downtime they're doing something completely OPPOSITE of good. God wants us to give, and pray, and fast, because we understand his heart behind it. We give so that others can feel his love and compassion. We pray so that we can hear from him. We fast so that we can be more in tune with him...something about pushing aside our physical wants to become more connected to the spiritual. Anyway, if someone's doing these things for props or to avoid hell, they're not really getting it. The behavior lasts for a moment, but isn't true...and that's not what God wants.
He wants us to understand love, compassion, generosity, and the amazing feeling of giving up what we want and getting something so much more amazing in return. His motives are good, and what he has for us is amazing. I pray that I will not do things because it's "what I'm supposed to do," but because I understand and believe in the motives behind it. It's good to be reminded :)
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Kicking Butt
Today, was a great day personally for me. After talking about being interested vs. committed, I realized there were 3 things that I was merely interested in but not committed to: tracking calories, staying away from unplanned sweets, and exercising consistently. Today, I did all three--and I ran 4 miles again and shaved off 2 mins at 46:32. So I'm at an 11:38 mile. My goal is to get to an 11 minute mile whenever I run.
I feel so much better about myself when I am eating healthy, exercising, and saying no to things that aren't so good for me. Better choices make for a better life. It makes sense, but sometimes it's hard to get in the groove :)
I feel so much better about myself when I am eating healthy, exercising, and saying no to things that aren't so good for me. Better choices make for a better life. It makes sense, but sometimes it's hard to get in the groove :)
Day 2: Committed vs. Interested
"When you're truly committed to achieving our goals, you have an entirely different outlook. Unlike being interested, where it doesn't take much to detract you from your goals, being committed means you stick with it, no matter what." 100DOWL
Today the book talked about the difference between being interested vs committed in this journey. If you're just interested, any little thing will throw you off. I admit that as I've restarted this thing, I'm been easily distracted by snacks, chips, cookies, and donuts brought into work. Of course I say "whyyyy did you bring these?" but then commence to snacking on them--way more than I should. This time last year--when I was truly committed to losing weight, I either wouldn't have touched them, or I would have had a small serving--then tracked it.
I was reading one of my favorite blogs the other day and she had a quote that said "Goals that are not written down are just wishes." I feel like one of the biggest differences between me last year and this year was the fact that I was desperate to prove that I could lose weight, but also that I had really specific goals and I stuck with them. I've now proven that I can lose weight, and the pressure is off now that I'm in a size that I'm pretty comfortable in. I'm back in the interested phase, and I really want to move into the commitment phase, but I'm not sure how to get there. And the biggest thing that's hurting me right now is my eating habits--eating junk food at work and not tracking my intake. So, hm. One of my goals will be that I track my calories at least 4 days a week. Hopefully getting into that small habit will keep my on track and remind me that that 300 calorie donut is NOT worth it.
Whenever I read Matthew I marvel at how much Jesus calls us beyond normal response and behavior. He says things like "anger is like murder, looking at a woman with lust is like adultery in your heart, turn the other cheek, and love your enemies." He calls us to a sort of righteousness that is seemingly impossible. It's interesting, because he asks us not to respond like everyone else would respond, but to take it to a higher level. I admit that I struggle with lust, anger, revenge, and dislike for people who aren't like me just like everyone else. This call to have a better response is pretty radical, and it makes me aware of just how good God is--because he wants us to love and respond in the way that he does. He wants us to respond with the unexpected, to show what his love is like--full of grace, compassion, mercy, forgiveness. Is this not why it says at the end "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." This is his character coming out, and it's good.
Today the book talked about the difference between being interested vs committed in this journey. If you're just interested, any little thing will throw you off. I admit that as I've restarted this thing, I'm been easily distracted by snacks, chips, cookies, and donuts brought into work. Of course I say "whyyyy did you bring these?" but then commence to snacking on them--way more than I should. This time last year--when I was truly committed to losing weight, I either wouldn't have touched them, or I would have had a small serving--then tracked it.
I was reading one of my favorite blogs the other day and she had a quote that said "Goals that are not written down are just wishes." I feel like one of the biggest differences between me last year and this year was the fact that I was desperate to prove that I could lose weight, but also that I had really specific goals and I stuck with them. I've now proven that I can lose weight, and the pressure is off now that I'm in a size that I'm pretty comfortable in. I'm back in the interested phase, and I really want to move into the commitment phase, but I'm not sure how to get there. And the biggest thing that's hurting me right now is my eating habits--eating junk food at work and not tracking my intake. So, hm. One of my goals will be that I track my calories at least 4 days a week. Hopefully getting into that small habit will keep my on track and remind me that that 300 calorie donut is NOT worth it.
Whenever I read Matthew I marvel at how much Jesus calls us beyond normal response and behavior. He says things like "anger is like murder, looking at a woman with lust is like adultery in your heart, turn the other cheek, and love your enemies." He calls us to a sort of righteousness that is seemingly impossible. It's interesting, because he asks us not to respond like everyone else would respond, but to take it to a higher level. I admit that I struggle with lust, anger, revenge, and dislike for people who aren't like me just like everyone else. This call to have a better response is pretty radical, and it makes me aware of just how good God is--because he wants us to love and respond in the way that he does. He wants us to respond with the unexpected, to show what his love is like--full of grace, compassion, mercy, forgiveness. Is this not why it says at the end "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." This is his character coming out, and it's good.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Day 1: Salt
FYI this is the book I'm referring to when I write 'the book' or '100 DOWL.' It's a great tool, and even when I'm restarting it for the third time, it's still relevant.
"Rather than being fearful that you'll repeat the past, build a new way of thinking." 100 DOWL
Today the book talked about not letting your past failures get in the way of your future success. I feel like that is some kind of quote--I swear it just came to me like that haha. When it comes to weight loss, it's easy to say "oh, I messed up by eating that donut, I might as well eat this piece of pizza, and also these cookies" and then to get on a spiral of self loathing and ultimately giving up. The book talks about changing that cycle by saying 'I used to be that way, but now I'm different.' It encourages us to make new patterns in our life, by saying and thinking positive things about ourselves rather than negative.
Words bring life and death--and our words to ourselves are so important in living healthy successful lives. If I told myself I was ugly, stupid, and would never achieve the goals I set I am 100% sure I would live those words. The opposite is absolutely true. I've seen this in my life, and am blessed to somehow have realized this at the ripe old age of 17 when I realized that everything that I didn't like about my appearance and my differences were beautiful, unique, and wonderful. I don't know what brought about the change, but when I believed it, I began to be more confident--and you could see it in the way I dressed, talked, acted...it was just so apparent. So, lesson for today--speak positively of my future success and of myself. Don't focus on the failures of my past--learn from them, and move on.
"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men." Matt 5:13
Salt--it flavors food. It makes things taste better. So I'm supposed to be the flavor of the earth. I'm supposed
to make this world taste better. How am I doing that? How am I making the world a better place? It's a good reminder for me. It's easy for me to go through the motions and say 'oh I give, oh I volunteer' but forget why I'm doing these things:
"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." v. 16
It's to show how awesome God is. It's to reveal his love, his compassion, and all the goodness he offers and brings. It's not because it's the right thing to do--it's because he gave. It's because he volunteered. It's because he fed, and healed, and loved. He did these wonderful things, and inspired them in me. He was the example. Why do I do it? Because he did it for me, and I want others to experience the same love and goodness that has been shown to me. It's not about me, oh thank GOD it's not about me. It's about revealing real love and truth.
"Rather than being fearful that you'll repeat the past, build a new way of thinking." 100 DOWL
Today the book talked about not letting your past failures get in the way of your future success. I feel like that is some kind of quote--I swear it just came to me like that haha. When it comes to weight loss, it's easy to say "oh, I messed up by eating that donut, I might as well eat this piece of pizza, and also these cookies" and then to get on a spiral of self loathing and ultimately giving up. The book talks about changing that cycle by saying 'I used to be that way, but now I'm different.' It encourages us to make new patterns in our life, by saying and thinking positive things about ourselves rather than negative.
Words bring life and death--and our words to ourselves are so important in living healthy successful lives. If I told myself I was ugly, stupid, and would never achieve the goals I set I am 100% sure I would live those words. The opposite is absolutely true. I've seen this in my life, and am blessed to somehow have realized this at the ripe old age of 17 when I realized that everything that I didn't like about my appearance and my differences were beautiful, unique, and wonderful. I don't know what brought about the change, but when I believed it, I began to be more confident--and you could see it in the way I dressed, talked, acted...it was just so apparent. So, lesson for today--speak positively of my future success and of myself. Don't focus on the failures of my past--learn from them, and move on.
"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men." Matt 5:13
Salt--it flavors food. It makes things taste better. So I'm supposed to be the flavor of the earth. I'm supposed
to make this world taste better. How am I doing that? How am I making the world a better place? It's a good reminder for me. It's easy for me to go through the motions and say 'oh I give, oh I volunteer' but forget why I'm doing these things:
"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." v. 16
It's to show how awesome God is. It's to reveal his love, his compassion, and all the goodness he offers and brings. It's not because it's the right thing to do--it's because he gave. It's because he volunteered. It's because he fed, and healed, and loved. He did these wonderful things, and inspired them in me. He was the example. Why do I do it? Because he did it for me, and I want others to experience the same love and goodness that has been shown to me. It's not about me, oh thank GOD it's not about me. It's about revealing real love and truth.
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