And not that kind of doing it ;) Haha just kidding. I've been dreading my weigh in, dreading what it would be like to start running again and ultimately dreading starting this process again. I was so ashamed of where I had let myself get...back into the 220s, not running at all, eating terribly. I was really ashamed of the fact that I pretty much gained all of that weight in the last 2.5 months of 2011. I had all of these plans, all of these desires, all of these goals...and somehow they just fell to the wayside and instead of losing 15 lbs, I GAINED 15 lbs. Shame spiral 101.
And then I weighed myself. I did it, and came face to face with a number I NEVER thought I'd see again. Back in 2010, I waved goodbye to the 220s, 210s, and said peace out. Well, 226 hello. But I did it, and something in me said, "this is not me. this is not right. I'm better than this." I don't WANT to be better than this, I AM better than this.
So I planned out my meals. I went grocery shopping. I researched "flexitarianism" (basically a plant based diet with occasional meat) and knew it was for me. I did my yoga last night, and I went to bed so that I could get 7 hours of sleep and wake up early in the morning...to run.
I was dreading this run. This was the girl who ran a 5k every month for a year then a 10k this past September. Dreading running. This is not who I am. I ate an apple, drank a bit of water, did my morning reading, and felt like I was going to throw up. I was literally gagging a bit over the toilet (sorry for the TMI), I think it was nerves, but also eating just an apple. Whatevs. Then I got out there.
I went to the track...where it all started in summer of 2010. Where I couldn't even run 1 lap. Where I did pretty much all of my C25k training. And I started to run. I told myself I would at least do 1 mile, but would do 2 miles if it went well. Well, let me tell you, it was so good. It was like...I don't know the reuniting of peanut butter and jelly. Me and running just GO together. Seriously. It was so perfect. There was a light, off and on drizzle, I had the whole track to myself basically, and I ran. I ran at a good pace, and I KILLED that two miles, and felt like I could have done a whole 5k no problem.
I didn't, because I want to get back into the groove without hurting myself, but I did intervals on the way home and ran the last half mile home. It was amazing. All that anxiety, dread, and complacency all dashed by one thing--taking action and just DOING it. My running goal this year of doing a 15k this year without stopping? I'm doing it. My goal of eating healthy, whole, CONSCIOUS food? I'm doing it. My goal of losing 60 lbs? I'm doing it. Nothing, nothing, feels better than doing it.
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Weigh In
Ok, this is one of the hardest things that I've had to do, because it's essentially admitting that I've messed up. And admitting that, to the general public, and whoever reads this blog, is humbling. Really humbling. But I've decided that this year will be a year of honesty, transparency, and really opening myself up to people. So here it goes. I've gained...20 lbs over the last year. And most of it happened in the past 2 months. How did this happen you ask? Overindulgence. Laziness. Not exercising.
Really that's it. I haven't kept up good habits, and I haven't been really watching what I put in my body. And to be honest, I've been watching, but not caring what I put in. And that's what really bothers me. So I'm starting fresh. It's the beginning of the year, and I want to try to be 160 by the end of the year. That's essentially 60 lbs, ok, maybe more like 65. But I'm not going to get there by mourning the weight that I gained, or sitting around pouting about it. I'm going to get there by picking myself up, readopting the habits that I KNOW I can do, and believing in myself.
Weigh In
1/9/2011: 226.2
Goals
Eat 3 vegetarian meals this week
Run 3x this week
Yoga 2x this week
Really that's it. I haven't kept up good habits, and I haven't been really watching what I put in my body. And to be honest, I've been watching, but not caring what I put in. And that's what really bothers me. So I'm starting fresh. It's the beginning of the year, and I want to try to be 160 by the end of the year. That's essentially 60 lbs, ok, maybe more like 65. But I'm not going to get there by mourning the weight that I gained, or sitting around pouting about it. I'm going to get there by picking myself up, readopting the habits that I KNOW I can do, and believing in myself.
Weigh In
1/9/2011: 226.2
Goals
Eat 3 vegetarian meals this week
Run 3x this week
Yoga 2x this week
Flexitarian
I have decided to become a Flexitarian. What is that you say? It's a person who eats a mostly plant based diet but has meat every once in awhile. After having a FANTASTIC tofu-broccoli stir fry, I'm convinced that this whole "trying new things" and "having at least 3 vegetarian meals a week" is a great idea. And after researching some vegetarian meals, I'm more than convinced. I'm so excited to try out my new recipes.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Inspiration & Motivation
"It's all about self-motivation because at the end of the day, you can have all the trainers and all the money in the world, but if you don't have that mindset, it's not possible." Jennifer Hudson
Jennifer Hudson has always been gorgeous to me. Curvy, beautiful, and talented. I always said I'd rather look like Jennifer Hudson rather than Jennifer Aniston. Now here she is, with 80 lbs lost and she went from, as Tim Gunn said "stunning to staggering." She is beautiful at any size, and I love how she said she's always been comfortable with her body, but acknowledges the changes and differences that come with her slimmed down look.
Watching her on the Oprah show (I know I'm behind) really inspired me. She's totally right about the self-motivation. Only I can set a goal and stick to it, and really know what I want. It's a mindset thing, and if I want it, really want it, I can get it.
I want, to be a size 8. Seriously. Just once in my life as an adult I want to be a one digit size. I want to be scared and say size 10, but I'm going to go for it. I've accomplished SO MUCH. I can do this. Whatever comes first, 50 lbs or size 8. I'm going for it.
I want, to run a half marathon. I want to be a runner and my ultimate goal is a half marathon.
I want, to run 15 miles a week by the end of the year. That's really only a 5k every day. But I'd ideally like to run only 3-4 days a week.
I want, to hold a plank for 2 minutes by the end of March. Seriously ya'll, I'm getting my upper body TONED.
I want, to eat healthy, whole, yummy foods, and to be open to appreciating foods I don't normally like.
I want, to learn how to sew my own clothes. And when I get smaller, I'll need less fabric :)
I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd. Seriously. I do.
"It's our choices, Harry, that show us what we truly are, far more than our abilities." Albus Dumbledore
Watching her on the Oprah show (I know I'm behind) really inspired me. She's totally right about the self-motivation. Only I can set a goal and stick to it, and really know what I want. It's a mindset thing, and if I want it, really want it, I can get it.
I want, to be a size 8. Seriously. Just once in my life as an adult I want to be a one digit size. I want to be scared and say size 10, but I'm going to go for it. I've accomplished SO MUCH. I can do this. Whatever comes first, 50 lbs or size 8. I'm going for it.
I want, to run a half marathon. I want to be a runner and my ultimate goal is a half marathon.
I want, to run 15 miles a week by the end of the year. That's really only a 5k every day. But I'd ideally like to run only 3-4 days a week.
I want, to hold a plank for 2 minutes by the end of March. Seriously ya'll, I'm getting my upper body TONED.
I want, to eat healthy, whole, yummy foods, and to be open to appreciating foods I don't normally like.
I want, to learn how to sew my own clothes. And when I get smaller, I'll need less fabric :)
I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd. Seriously. I do.
"It's our choices, Harry, that show us what we truly are, far more than our abilities." Albus Dumbledore
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Healthier Choices
Three weeks of vacation is a lot. I never thought that I'd say that but it is. When you have so much time on your hands, at least one of those weeks is spent just "laying around." Which is perfectly fine. But I'm not getting paid for a week of work so I probably could have spent that in Seattle. Ah well. I also miss my cat. My friends are giving me updates on how unhappy she is and I think she misses me too--which makes my cold little heart melt a little.
Laying around here means access to a ton of unhealthy food. I quickly got sucked in to the chips, cookies, candy and all sorts of yummy (and terrible for you) snacks around here. But, this week, I'm trying to be better. The parents and brother are going to another movie--two movies in two weeks is enough for me. Instead of sitting on my bum eating the inevitable popcorn and slurping a cold bubbly soda, I'm going to do some yoga.
I'm trying to be better about not comparing myself to others. Specifically, beating myself up for not doing what other people are doing. This year, I'm going to try to keep my focus solely on myself. In the healthy way. I'm going to focus on my goals, not other peoples goals. I'm going to focus on what I'm achieving, not criticizing myself for not achieving what other people are doing.
I'm excited for what the new year is going to bring, and I'm truly excited for how this year is going to unfold.
Laying around here means access to a ton of unhealthy food. I quickly got sucked in to the chips, cookies, candy and all sorts of yummy (and terrible for you) snacks around here. But, this week, I'm trying to be better. The parents and brother are going to another movie--two movies in two weeks is enough for me. Instead of sitting on my bum eating the inevitable popcorn and slurping a cold bubbly soda, I'm going to do some yoga.
I'm trying to be better about not comparing myself to others. Specifically, beating myself up for not doing what other people are doing. This year, I'm going to try to keep my focus solely on myself. In the healthy way. I'm going to focus on my goals, not other peoples goals. I'm going to focus on what I'm achieving, not criticizing myself for not achieving what other people are doing.
I'm excited for what the new year is going to bring, and I'm truly excited for how this year is going to unfold.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Goals, goals, goals
Ah, it's almost a new year and it's that time again! New Year's resolutions, goals, whatever you want to call them, I'm ready for the new year to come so I can start. And actually, I don't need to wait for the new year. I'm going to start today. I'll be 26 in a couple of days, so how about 26 goals for 26 years?
--My overall goal is to be open to new experiences. Whether it's a different exercise, restaurant, activity, style, etc., I want to open myself up to new experiences, and enrich my life a little bit more.
1)Learn to sew.
--I want to get a sewing machine, and learn to make at least ONE thing. At least.
2)Get a passport.
--I've been procrastinating on this for so long, I just need to do it.
3)Stick with my budget.
--I'm pretty good at that, but I could be better. I want to stick with it (especially with the paying off bills) every time.
4)Lose 50 lbs
--Yes, it's that weight loss goal that's pretty standard for every NY resolution. Well I've done it once, let's try it again.
5)Attend church 2/4 Sundays.
--I know I should probably be shooting for more, but considering I haven't been in forever, this seems like a good start.
6)Learn what a serving of fruits and veggies is, and eat at least 5 servings every day.
--People always say eat such and such servings of fruits and veggies, but I'm unsure what an actual serving is. So there's some learning in order.
7)And speaking of food, I want to find a way to eat beans more.
--This sounds strange, but I really don't like beans, but they're such a healthy protein so I need to figure out how to incorporate them into my diet in a healthy way.
8)Have 3 meals a week be vegetarian.
--Hence the bean thing. I know I'm gonna need protein so. yea. And it's cheaper :)
9)Stick to my eating out budget.
--Either budget more moolah or eat out less. Something's gotta give.
10)Try new restaurants.
--I tend to stick to my favorites, so, I need to try new stuff. This includes new pubs :)
11)Plan out recipes and stick to them!
--I really want to a)find some yummy recipes and b)actually make them.
12)Buy less clothes.
--Seriously, I'm going to cut down on my clothes budget. I have way too many right now, and I need to be more creative.
13)Do 30 for 30 at least once, and stick to the no shopping for 30 days.
--I was weak before, but I think I can have some self control...maybe.
14)Blog more.
--Blogging is cathartic. So I'm going to figure out WHAT I want to blog about, what my goals for my blog(s) are, and possible consolidate. I know I'm interested in recipes, fashion, weight loss, and good deals...so maybe I can make some "themes." Outfit of the day might have to be incorporated as well.
15)Develop relationships with new people.
--I'm so that girl who can be happy with just her circle of friends. I need to reach out and be friendlier. I especially want to meet more people I have things in common with.
16)Do a monthly "goal" check up.
--I love making long term goals, but I keep on track better with short term goals to help my long term goals.
17)Volunteer.
--I don't know where, or what, but I do know I want to make the time this year.
18)Run a 15k. You know, without stopping.
--I did a year of 5ks, I've done a 10k, and this year, I want to do that 15k without stopping. I'm out of shape so I gotta start small. 2013 half marathon?? I'm going to plan out some 5ks, then a 10k, then a 15k by mid year. If I'm going strong, I'll plan for the half marathon.
19)Buy better quality food.
--Buy what matters organic. But the best meat. Don't be cheap on what I put in my body.
20)Remember birthdays for all my family.
--I have been terrible at remembering to send stuff for my aunt, uncles, and grandparents. No more.
21)Send a care package every quarter.
--I know this sounds weird, but I want to do it. I'll have to figure out who I'm going to do it for.
22)Write my sponsored children more.
--I am that sponsor who sends 3 cards all at the same time. No more!
23)Work on my relationship with God.
--This should technically be number one, but sadly I've put this on the back burner. No more. I don't want to be religious, but I want to be a better person--more patient, kind, loving, gentle...you know...all those things.
24)Develop a cleaning schedule.
--I'm going to be 26, I need to learn how to keep my apartment clean.
25)Be more outdoorsy.
--I want to hike, kayak, canoe...I just want to be outside more. Oo, this includes ride my bike more :)
26)I'm not sure what I'm going to put in here quite yet. I want to have a goal here by July 2012.
So there we go. 26 goals achieved by age 26. I'm so proud of who I am, and decisions that I've made. I haven't been perfect this year, but I do know (mostly) what I want, so I'm going to go after it.
--My overall goal is to be open to new experiences. Whether it's a different exercise, restaurant, activity, style, etc., I want to open myself up to new experiences, and enrich my life a little bit more.
1)Learn to sew.
--I want to get a sewing machine, and learn to make at least ONE thing. At least.
2)Get a passport.
--I've been procrastinating on this for so long, I just need to do it.
3)Stick with my budget.
--I'm pretty good at that, but I could be better. I want to stick with it (especially with the paying off bills) every time.
4)Lose 50 lbs
--Yes, it's that weight loss goal that's pretty standard for every NY resolution. Well I've done it once, let's try it again.
5)Attend church 2/4 Sundays.
--I know I should probably be shooting for more, but considering I haven't been in forever, this seems like a good start.
6)Learn what a serving of fruits and veggies is, and eat at least 5 servings every day.
--People always say eat such and such servings of fruits and veggies, but I'm unsure what an actual serving is. So there's some learning in order.
7)And speaking of food, I want to find a way to eat beans more.
--This sounds strange, but I really don't like beans, but they're such a healthy protein so I need to figure out how to incorporate them into my diet in a healthy way.
8)Have 3 meals a week be vegetarian.
--Hence the bean thing. I know I'm gonna need protein so. yea. And it's cheaper :)
9)Stick to my eating out budget.
--Either budget more moolah or eat out less. Something's gotta give.
10)Try new restaurants.
--I tend to stick to my favorites, so, I need to try new stuff. This includes new pubs :)
11)Plan out recipes and stick to them!
--I really want to a)find some yummy recipes and b)actually make them.
12)Buy less clothes.
--Seriously, I'm going to cut down on my clothes budget. I have way too many right now, and I need to be more creative.
13)Do 30 for 30 at least once, and stick to the no shopping for 30 days.
--I was weak before, but I think I can have some self control...maybe.
14)Blog more.
--Blogging is cathartic. So I'm going to figure out WHAT I want to blog about, what my goals for my blog(s) are, and possible consolidate. I know I'm interested in recipes, fashion, weight loss, and good deals...so maybe I can make some "themes." Outfit of the day might have to be incorporated as well.
15)Develop relationships with new people.
--I'm so that girl who can be happy with just her circle of friends. I need to reach out and be friendlier. I especially want to meet more people I have things in common with.
16)Do a monthly "goal" check up.
--I love making long term goals, but I keep on track better with short term goals to help my long term goals.
17)Volunteer.
--I don't know where, or what, but I do know I want to make the time this year.
18)Run a 15k. You know, without stopping.
--I did a year of 5ks, I've done a 10k, and this year, I want to do that 15k without stopping. I'm out of shape so I gotta start small. 2013 half marathon?? I'm going to plan out some 5ks, then a 10k, then a 15k by mid year. If I'm going strong, I'll plan for the half marathon.
19)Buy better quality food.
--Buy what matters organic. But the best meat. Don't be cheap on what I put in my body.
20)Remember birthdays for all my family.
--I have been terrible at remembering to send stuff for my aunt, uncles, and grandparents. No more.
21)Send a care package every quarter.
--I know this sounds weird, but I want to do it. I'll have to figure out who I'm going to do it for.
22)Write my sponsored children more.
--I am that sponsor who sends 3 cards all at the same time. No more!
23)Work on my relationship with God.
--This should technically be number one, but sadly I've put this on the back burner. No more. I don't want to be religious, but I want to be a better person--more patient, kind, loving, gentle...you know...all those things.
24)Develop a cleaning schedule.
--I'm going to be 26, I need to learn how to keep my apartment clean.
25)Be more outdoorsy.
--I want to hike, kayak, canoe...I just want to be outside more. Oo, this includes ride my bike more :)
26)I'm not sure what I'm going to put in here quite yet. I want to have a goal here by July 2012.
So there we go. 26 goals achieved by age 26. I'm so proud of who I am, and decisions that I've made. I haven't been perfect this year, but I do know (mostly) what I want, so I'm going to go after it.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
A Fresh Start
I'm excited for the new school year. I love the fact that I still have that little marker to look forward to. When I was younger, it was all about meeting new classmates, and buying new clothes, and getting all of my fresh new school supplies. Now that I'm older, it's about planning fun activities for my afterschool program, prepping programs like SMART Girls, mentoring kids and volunteers, and really getting our overall program into tiptop shape.
It's also about getting myself into tiptop shape. This past year has been like a flat line for me. I've started, and stopped, had great intentions, and didn't follow through. It's as if I'd forgotten all that I had learned before with the whole lifestyle change thing. And while I know I can never forget, I do know that I started to ignore the things that I knew and the things that I learned. What's worse than never knowing what's good for you is knowing and consciously choosing something different.
I'm realizing once again that I choose what my life is. I choose whether I'm active, and I choose whether I'm engaged. I choose whether I run everyday, and I choose what I spend my money on. So, I have some goals for the new school year. I actually specifically have goals for the next 6 months. These next six months are going to figure significantly in where I go and what I do next, and what I want to do in these next six months, is live my life to the fullest.
Health:
1) I want to eat less meat. I want my meals to consist mostly of whole grains, fruits and veggies, and a little meat. I do love meat, but I'm finding that I CAN live without it. I don't want to live completely without it, but I do want to cut back. Another part of this goal--I want to eat organic/local/happy meat. I want to be more conscious about what I'm putting into my body, and how it's treated before it becomes a big steak.
2) I want to lose about 40 lbs, or 1.5 lbs a week. I would love to be a solid size 12 or 10.
3) I want to be able to run a 10k without stopping, preferably in less that 1 hr and 10 mins. I know this 10k coming up on Sunday is not going to be my best. But I do know that I want to progress in such a way that I'm running 10ks, then 15ks, then a half marathon by next year.
4)I want to finish that dang 100 days of Weight Loss book. Seriously, I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal, but I want to do it. I want to finish it, and say I completely it.
5)I want to eat a great breakfast, and healthy lunch and dinner. I want to have snacks during the day that make sense.
6) I want to go to the gym at least 3 days out of the week, and I want to exercise 5 days out of the week.
Work:
1)I want to get our 2-5th grade program up and running smoothly.
2)I want to continue with the foundation that I laid for K-1, and make it even better.
3)I want to run a really successful, fun SMART Girls program this year.
4)I want my staff to feel fulfilled and happy with their jobs.
5)I want to get our volunteer program up and running efficiently.
6)I want the kids to enjoy a really quality program.
Spiritual Life:
1)I want to continue to discover how my relationship with God is going to thrive. I want to be open to new things, I want to be open to what he wants, and I want to grow and be closer to him.
2)I want to meet new people from church and begin to develop solid relationships.
3)I want to be committed to Tabitha, and I want to volunteer 2 times a month.
4)I want to be more patient, kind, generous, and self disciplined... :-/ This is going to take a lot :)
5)I want to stick to my budget, and continue to remember that what I have was given to me.
Random:
1)I want to keep my apartment clean--and not just for a couple of days!
2)I want to get rid of the clutter and random stuff I have lying around.
3)I want to be regularly involved with a board games and/or poker group :)
Six months...is not a very long time. This year has gone by so quickly, and I want to make the most of what I have left. These are my plans, these are my goals, and hopefully they're in line with what God wants for my life. I'm just going to live, and try to be in tune to where I'm supposed to go next. God is good, he is faithful, and he is good.
"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:3-4
It's also about getting myself into tiptop shape. This past year has been like a flat line for me. I've started, and stopped, had great intentions, and didn't follow through. It's as if I'd forgotten all that I had learned before with the whole lifestyle change thing. And while I know I can never forget, I do know that I started to ignore the things that I knew and the things that I learned. What's worse than never knowing what's good for you is knowing and consciously choosing something different.
I'm realizing once again that I choose what my life is. I choose whether I'm active, and I choose whether I'm engaged. I choose whether I run everyday, and I choose what I spend my money on. So, I have some goals for the new school year. I actually specifically have goals for the next 6 months. These next six months are going to figure significantly in where I go and what I do next, and what I want to do in these next six months, is live my life to the fullest.
Health:
1) I want to eat less meat. I want my meals to consist mostly of whole grains, fruits and veggies, and a little meat. I do love meat, but I'm finding that I CAN live without it. I don't want to live completely without it, but I do want to cut back. Another part of this goal--I want to eat organic/local/happy meat. I want to be more conscious about what I'm putting into my body, and how it's treated before it becomes a big steak.
2) I want to lose about 40 lbs, or 1.5 lbs a week. I would love to be a solid size 12 or 10.
3) I want to be able to run a 10k without stopping, preferably in less that 1 hr and 10 mins. I know this 10k coming up on Sunday is not going to be my best. But I do know that I want to progress in such a way that I'm running 10ks, then 15ks, then a half marathon by next year.
4)I want to finish that dang 100 days of Weight Loss book. Seriously, I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal, but I want to do it. I want to finish it, and say I completely it.
5)I want to eat a great breakfast, and healthy lunch and dinner. I want to have snacks during the day that make sense.
6) I want to go to the gym at least 3 days out of the week, and I want to exercise 5 days out of the week.
Work:
1)I want to get our 2-5th grade program up and running smoothly.
2)I want to continue with the foundation that I laid for K-1, and make it even better.
3)I want to run a really successful, fun SMART Girls program this year.
4)I want my staff to feel fulfilled and happy with their jobs.
5)I want to get our volunteer program up and running efficiently.
6)I want the kids to enjoy a really quality program.
Spiritual Life:
1)I want to continue to discover how my relationship with God is going to thrive. I want to be open to new things, I want to be open to what he wants, and I want to grow and be closer to him.
2)I want to meet new people from church and begin to develop solid relationships.
3)I want to be committed to Tabitha, and I want to volunteer 2 times a month.
4)I want to be more patient, kind, generous, and self disciplined... :-/ This is going to take a lot :)
5)I want to stick to my budget, and continue to remember that what I have was given to me.
Random:
1)I want to keep my apartment clean--and not just for a couple of days!
2)I want to get rid of the clutter and random stuff I have lying around.
3)I want to be regularly involved with a board games and/or poker group :)
Six months...is not a very long time. This year has gone by so quickly, and I want to make the most of what I have left. These are my plans, these are my goals, and hopefully they're in line with what God wants for my life. I'm just going to live, and try to be in tune to where I'm supposed to go next. God is good, he is faithful, and he is good.
"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:3-4
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Appetites
I listened to a teaching from Richard the other day about fasting, and why we fast. He said that consumerism has taught us to live by our appetites, but that this is a false kind of satisfaction. We need to control our appetites, not because they're bad, but because if we let them get out of control, they control us. It's an act of moving into freedom.
He made some really good points. One, that fasting is normal. It's something that's expected of us. In order to fast, we need to recognize where our appetites go first. Where do we go for comfort? Do we go straight to food, the internet, naps, sex, shopping? That's where we need to go first. I love that he says that our appetites aren't wrong, and that they're a gift from God. The point is not to destroy them, it's to let our spirit be in control rather than our bodies.
His next point was that when we fast, it's not just about "not putting on a gloomy face," it's about celebration. We fast with the intent of being a blessing to someone else. He said that when we fast, and quiet our hearts, God gives us agendas--ways to bless others--and that life becomes so full that we don't have time to focus and obsess over what we're NOT getting.
Lastly, that we can't serve our appetites and God at the same time. When we're led by our appetites, our hearts become hard, and he can't see the goodness and provision that is given to us. We always want more, and our appetite is never satiated. God calls us to this "upside down kingdom," this life of living generously with our time, energy, and possessions. Fasting, and other practices of discipline helps our focus to be clarified, and it helps us to see what God is doing and the fullness of life he is giving us.
I thought at first of shopping when I thought of fasting, but right now, with my new budget and the ways that God is changing my mind with money, it doesn't seem like something that I go to for comfort. I think right now, media is the one thing that I really need to take a break from. I need a break from facebook, from reading blogs, from watching TV on DVD while cruising the internet, from games that the kiddos get me addicted to, from craigslist and my eternal job search....I just need a break. I need to break away and engage other senses, as well as people.
So, after work, I give myself 1.5 hours a day to watch a T.V. show, or cruise the internet, or play games, or do whatever it is I do wasting my time on the internet :) 1.5 hours actually seems like SUCH a long time, but I know that some days I come home and just lay down on the couch and veg. And I want so much more than that. I need so much more than that. I don't think that includes workout videos--I'm actually doing something active and beneficial when I do those, but everything else is limited to 1.5 hours for the rest of August. Let's see what God can do eh?
He made some really good points. One, that fasting is normal. It's something that's expected of us. In order to fast, we need to recognize where our appetites go first. Where do we go for comfort? Do we go straight to food, the internet, naps, sex, shopping? That's where we need to go first. I love that he says that our appetites aren't wrong, and that they're a gift from God. The point is not to destroy them, it's to let our spirit be in control rather than our bodies.
His next point was that when we fast, it's not just about "not putting on a gloomy face," it's about celebration. We fast with the intent of being a blessing to someone else. He said that when we fast, and quiet our hearts, God gives us agendas--ways to bless others--and that life becomes so full that we don't have time to focus and obsess over what we're NOT getting.
Lastly, that we can't serve our appetites and God at the same time. When we're led by our appetites, our hearts become hard, and he can't see the goodness and provision that is given to us. We always want more, and our appetite is never satiated. God calls us to this "upside down kingdom," this life of living generously with our time, energy, and possessions. Fasting, and other practices of discipline helps our focus to be clarified, and it helps us to see what God is doing and the fullness of life he is giving us.
I thought at first of shopping when I thought of fasting, but right now, with my new budget and the ways that God is changing my mind with money, it doesn't seem like something that I go to for comfort. I think right now, media is the one thing that I really need to take a break from. I need a break from facebook, from reading blogs, from watching TV on DVD while cruising the internet, from games that the kiddos get me addicted to, from craigslist and my eternal job search....I just need a break. I need to break away and engage other senses, as well as people.
So, after work, I give myself 1.5 hours a day to watch a T.V. show, or cruise the internet, or play games, or do whatever it is I do wasting my time on the internet :) 1.5 hours actually seems like SUCH a long time, but I know that some days I come home and just lay down on the couch and veg. And I want so much more than that. I need so much more than that. I don't think that includes workout videos--I'm actually doing something active and beneficial when I do those, but everything else is limited to 1.5 hours for the rest of August. Let's see what God can do eh?
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Finishing Strong
On my last day of my 30 for 30, I was talking with a friend about being so tired of the project, and just throwing an outfit together and not really caring what it was, just that I was finished. He said something to the effect of "way to finish weak" or maybe he sarcastically said "way to finish strong," I'm not sure, but basically he was commenting on my lack of enthusiasm for my commitment near the end, and how I didn't want to really put any real thought or effort into it. That comment really stayed with me, and it's something I think about often.
I'm definitely the kind of person who gets an idea, or a vision, or a goal, and goes for it with everything that I have. I'm the kind of person who gets excited and inspired and wants to go after things, and is always looking for ways to improve and be a better person. This is something that I like about myself, it's something that for lack of a better word, I'm proud of. I like that I'm a dreamer. The not so glamorous side of a dreamer is the disappointment, the loss of "steam," and the motivation to keep going, even when the "dream" isn't going as expected, or it's lost it's new luster.
I felt that with college, I felt that with the 30 for 30, I feel that with work sometimes, and I feel that with my 5k commitment. What I do know, is that I finish. I'm proud that I finish. I'm glad that I follow through. I'm glad that I have shown that I am committed, no matter how I feel, and even when I want to give up--I don't. I'm not sure if "finishing strong" is important to me. I mean, I want to finish strong, but if I finish tired, or depleted, or with less enthusiasm, it doesn't diminish all of the hard work and enthusiasm and energy that went into the rest of it.
It's funny how words can have such impact on people. I'm tired of people making me feel bad for not being 100% all of the time. I'm tired of LETTING myself feel bad for not being 100% all of the time. I am human, and I have weaknesses, but I am also strong, and full of life. And I am proud of who I am--weaknesses and all :)
I'm definitely the kind of person who gets an idea, or a vision, or a goal, and goes for it with everything that I have. I'm the kind of person who gets excited and inspired and wants to go after things, and is always looking for ways to improve and be a better person. This is something that I like about myself, it's something that for lack of a better word, I'm proud of. I like that I'm a dreamer. The not so glamorous side of a dreamer is the disappointment, the loss of "steam," and the motivation to keep going, even when the "dream" isn't going as expected, or it's lost it's new luster.
I felt that with college, I felt that with the 30 for 30, I feel that with work sometimes, and I feel that with my 5k commitment. What I do know, is that I finish. I'm proud that I finish. I'm glad that I follow through. I'm glad that I have shown that I am committed, no matter how I feel, and even when I want to give up--I don't. I'm not sure if "finishing strong" is important to me. I mean, I want to finish strong, but if I finish tired, or depleted, or with less enthusiasm, it doesn't diminish all of the hard work and enthusiasm and energy that went into the rest of it.
It's funny how words can have such impact on people. I'm tired of people making me feel bad for not being 100% all of the time. I'm tired of LETTING myself feel bad for not being 100% all of the time. I am human, and I have weaknesses, but I am also strong, and full of life. And I am proud of who I am--weaknesses and all :)
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Kicking Butt
Today, was a great day personally for me. After talking about being interested vs. committed, I realized there were 3 things that I was merely interested in but not committed to: tracking calories, staying away from unplanned sweets, and exercising consistently. Today, I did all three--and I ran 4 miles again and shaved off 2 mins at 46:32. So I'm at an 11:38 mile. My goal is to get to an 11 minute mile whenever I run.
I feel so much better about myself when I am eating healthy, exercising, and saying no to things that aren't so good for me. Better choices make for a better life. It makes sense, but sometimes it's hard to get in the groove :)
I feel so much better about myself when I am eating healthy, exercising, and saying no to things that aren't so good for me. Better choices make for a better life. It makes sense, but sometimes it's hard to get in the groove :)
Monday, May 16, 2011
100 Days
It's hard for me to commit. I'm just one of those people who always has to have other options, or the ability to choose something different. I think a better way to describe my fear of commitment, is to say it's an inability to make a decision or feel satisfied because WHAT IF I find something better. Also, what are the lifelong ramifications of my decision? I can seriously remember all of the fear and conflicting feelings once I finally got a dog that I had 'planned' for for 6 months. I was terrified. I had this life, this other being that I had to care about. Commitment is the beginning of the end of selfishness and just thinking of myself. And that, ultimately, is why I think commitment is hard for me.
The end of selfishness. I live my life for me. I love my friends, and family, and cat. But ultimately, all my decisions are for me--my desires, my health, my happiness, my image. Now, a large part of my happiness and contentment comes from my relationship with others. I'm not so fully engrossed in myself that I don't recognize and appreciate that and put aside some of my selfish desires for the good of others. But I'm mostly selfish. I have to be honest.
I got a big smack in the face yesterday when I realized that I've been selfish and consumed with money recently. It was so subtle and had just enough elements of generosity and good deeds that I didn't even realize it. I thought I was doing well. Well, if I'm honest, I knew I was dissatisfied, but I didn't realize it was because I was obsessed with money--I thought it was because I didn't have enough. ha, ha, ha. So here I am, working through this issue.
My goal by the end of this week is to take my wonderful budget, tweak it a bit, and actually follow it. I don't know if ya'll know, but I have a kick-ass budget. I just never follow it exactly how it's written. Annnnd, I think I should cut down on my personal spending line. Sure I pay down my credit cards, bills that I can't avoid, rent, and student loans, and allow 6% of my income to go to worthy causes, but after that it's pretty much a big muddled mess. Savings? Yes...it goes auto into my account...until I need it because I've overspent on clothes. That other 4% that I want to give? Yea...that also gets thrown in the pot. So that's goal number one. Re-evaluate my budget, and commit to that budget.
My second commitment--I want to read my 100 Days of Weight Loss book & either a scripture or spiritually edifying article/book/whatever. I think I got through 70 days on my last jag with the book, and it really helped me stay focused on my healthy lifestyle goals, and it also helped me identify and work through food issues. What better thing to pair it with than spiritual health. Right? Right.
I was going to pair this with "working out 5 days a week" or some other such goal around that. But, I feel like getting my head and heart in line will get the rest of me in line. I still am training for a 10k. I'm still trying to eat healthy. Those go right along with these other commitments. So, August 23rd is 100 days from now. I was able to commit to 30 days of wearing the same clothes--more if you count the days I pretty much dressed in the same thing as the day before and was lazy around the house or town. I can commit to 100 days of spiritual, mental, and physical health.
Here's to a turn around in my thinking and overall living. Here's to me living a life of commitment. I'm going to seriously need help on this ;)
The end of selfishness. I live my life for me. I love my friends, and family, and cat. But ultimately, all my decisions are for me--my desires, my health, my happiness, my image. Now, a large part of my happiness and contentment comes from my relationship with others. I'm not so fully engrossed in myself that I don't recognize and appreciate that and put aside some of my selfish desires for the good of others. But I'm mostly selfish. I have to be honest.
I got a big smack in the face yesterday when I realized that I've been selfish and consumed with money recently. It was so subtle and had just enough elements of generosity and good deeds that I didn't even realize it. I thought I was doing well. Well, if I'm honest, I knew I was dissatisfied, but I didn't realize it was because I was obsessed with money--I thought it was because I didn't have enough. ha, ha, ha. So here I am, working through this issue.
My goal by the end of this week is to take my wonderful budget, tweak it a bit, and actually follow it. I don't know if ya'll know, but I have a kick-ass budget. I just never follow it exactly how it's written. Annnnd, I think I should cut down on my personal spending line. Sure I pay down my credit cards, bills that I can't avoid, rent, and student loans, and allow 6% of my income to go to worthy causes, but after that it's pretty much a big muddled mess. Savings? Yes...it goes auto into my account...until I need it because I've overspent on clothes. That other 4% that I want to give? Yea...that also gets thrown in the pot. So that's goal number one. Re-evaluate my budget, and commit to that budget.
My second commitment--I want to read my 100 Days of Weight Loss book & either a scripture or spiritually edifying article/book/whatever. I think I got through 70 days on my last jag with the book, and it really helped me stay focused on my healthy lifestyle goals, and it also helped me identify and work through food issues. What better thing to pair it with than spiritual health. Right? Right.
I was going to pair this with "working out 5 days a week" or some other such goal around that. But, I feel like getting my head and heart in line will get the rest of me in line. I still am training for a 10k. I'm still trying to eat healthy. Those go right along with these other commitments. So, August 23rd is 100 days from now. I was able to commit to 30 days of wearing the same clothes--more if you count the days I pretty much dressed in the same thing as the day before and was lazy around the house or town. I can commit to 100 days of spiritual, mental, and physical health.
Here's to a turn around in my thinking and overall living. Here's to me living a life of commitment. I'm going to seriously need help on this ;)
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Seeing Clearly
I went to church today. One of my new year's resolutions was making it to church 3/4 Sundays of the month. I have failed at that, but I'm always glad when I go, because I am always challenged by what Richard is teaching. Let me just take a sidenote and say that the reason I go to Bethany is not because of the people (I haven't fully connected yet), it's because they have a great leader in Richard. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't follow him blindly or think he's everything I need to get me through life. However, he is like no other pastor that I have "been under" in the past 10 years of my life. He is so well balanced, open to differing opinions, well traveled, intelligent, thoughtful, LOVING in word AND deed, as well as strong in his faith. He does such a great job of opening his arms to everyone while embracing his beliefs and living them fully. And he has a church that serves the community, houses the homeless, feeds the hungry, serves the needy, builds wells in Africa, gives generously, and is committed to their spiritual walks. It's not perfect, but it's exactly what my wandering, hopeful heart needs at this point in my life.
Today he talked about the kingdom of God, and how it is "now and not yet." How when Jesus comes, there will be no wars, no tears, no hunger, no oppression, reconciliation, and earth will basically be everything this it was created to be. He will come to fix everything. That time, obviously, is the not yet, because I don't know if you're living in the same world I am, but there is still war, tears, hunger, oppression, homelessness, poverty, and injustice all around. However, we have this opportunity to bring the kingdom now. We have the opportunity to wipe tears away, put down arms, feed a hungry child, stand against violence, and give all that we have. That is our job--to bring about this kingdom as much as we can.
However, we get caught up. We get caught up in three things: "Jesus...and," "waiting," and "power." Some people wait because they have this attitude "if jesus is coming back why should I do anything?" Why should I try to save the environment, be an educated consumer, etc. when it's all going to be gone and 'done over' when Jesus comes back? But that's not what Jesus did when he was here. He healed the sick, he fed the hungry, he raised the dead. He lived very much in a 'kingdom now' kind of world. And that's the same one we're living in. Some people think it's about getting power. They think "if I can align with the right people, then we can take over and MAKE everyone believe what we want." If I can bully them into believing it counts right? Wrong. So very wrong. And there are countless times in history that Christians have had this mindset, and many still do--and it's evident in our world right now.
For me, 'waiting' and 'power' are not big issues. It's just not been the way I've thought after living in this world, questioning my faith, and coming to my own conclusions. "Of course," I say to myself, "these are obviously not how we bring about the kingdom and people who think that way...fail." Oh, but then there comes the "Jesus, and.." and I am stuck with a big fat "F" on my head as well.
Richard talked about the fact that Israel's problem was never a rejection of Jehovah, it was always the fact that they wanted to have Jehovah AND another god aka an idol. They thought they could have Jehovah and Asherah but really, what they were becoming most like was Asherah. Their focus, was Asherah. Idols. Idols, idols, idols. We talk about them all the time, I've heard the speech before and identified idols in my life in my younger years (men, media, etc.), but it seems like it's something I needed to hear again because whoa do I have a big idol in my life: money.
It was surprising to me, because I pride myself on giving to worthy causes. I pride myself on being generous. But when I really look at money, and how I've used it, and how I focus on it, and how much I THINK about it and where it goes--I realize that it's a huge idol in my life. I thought it was clothes shopping--whoops back to money. I thought it was my job and getting more education so I can make more--whoops back to money. Everything that I've been thinking about and that my life is centered around is money. Shopping, job, clothing, eating out, travel, bills, tithe, giving. None of these are bad things. None of these things are inherently evil. But my focus on money has been eating up and taking over my life. It's been about Jesus...and what I'm doing with my money. Am I saving enough? Am I paying my bills on time? Do I have enough to travel? And in the end, really, it all just has been about money. Jesus, and the awesomeness of his message and everything he has been about has been pushed aside by my own personal Asherah--money.
Enough. I'm tired of my inner thought life being consumed by cash. Richard said "the kingdom resonates and offends." What the kingdom brings is so appealing, but what I have to give up to bring it about, what it throws in my face, is not so appealing. I know that I cannot end all war, and that I cannot feed every hungry person, but what am I doing to make the kingdom visible to people? What am I doing to bring the kingdom? And most of all, where am I "opening up the vicegrip of my life" so that I can see and experience the kingdom better? For me, I feel like it starts with money. It starts with me re-evaluating my budget. It starts with me tithing fully, not partially. It starts with me paring down my spending habits on eating out and clothes. It starts with me letting go of money as security, and opening my eyes to my role in this kingdom that God wants to bring to the world right now.
I've been finding myself saying more and more these days 'I'm not perfect.' I'm starting to see very clearly that it's true, but there's hope. There is love, there is compassion, and there is life to fullest at the end of that realization. Awesome.
Today he talked about the kingdom of God, and how it is "now and not yet." How when Jesus comes, there will be no wars, no tears, no hunger, no oppression, reconciliation, and earth will basically be everything this it was created to be. He will come to fix everything. That time, obviously, is the not yet, because I don't know if you're living in the same world I am, but there is still war, tears, hunger, oppression, homelessness, poverty, and injustice all around. However, we have this opportunity to bring the kingdom now. We have the opportunity to wipe tears away, put down arms, feed a hungry child, stand against violence, and give all that we have. That is our job--to bring about this kingdom as much as we can.
However, we get caught up. We get caught up in three things: "Jesus...and," "waiting," and "power." Some people wait because they have this attitude "if jesus is coming back why should I do anything?" Why should I try to save the environment, be an educated consumer, etc. when it's all going to be gone and 'done over' when Jesus comes back? But that's not what Jesus did when he was here. He healed the sick, he fed the hungry, he raised the dead. He lived very much in a 'kingdom now' kind of world. And that's the same one we're living in. Some people think it's about getting power. They think "if I can align with the right people, then we can take over and MAKE everyone believe what we want." If I can bully them into believing it counts right? Wrong. So very wrong. And there are countless times in history that Christians have had this mindset, and many still do--and it's evident in our world right now.
For me, 'waiting' and 'power' are not big issues. It's just not been the way I've thought after living in this world, questioning my faith, and coming to my own conclusions. "Of course," I say to myself, "these are obviously not how we bring about the kingdom and people who think that way...fail." Oh, but then there comes the "Jesus, and.." and I am stuck with a big fat "F" on my head as well.
Richard talked about the fact that Israel's problem was never a rejection of Jehovah, it was always the fact that they wanted to have Jehovah AND another god aka an idol. They thought they could have Jehovah and Asherah but really, what they were becoming most like was Asherah. Their focus, was Asherah. Idols. Idols, idols, idols. We talk about them all the time, I've heard the speech before and identified idols in my life in my younger years (men, media, etc.), but it seems like it's something I needed to hear again because whoa do I have a big idol in my life: money.
It was surprising to me, because I pride myself on giving to worthy causes. I pride myself on being generous. But when I really look at money, and how I've used it, and how I focus on it, and how much I THINK about it and where it goes--I realize that it's a huge idol in my life. I thought it was clothes shopping--whoops back to money. I thought it was my job and getting more education so I can make more--whoops back to money. Everything that I've been thinking about and that my life is centered around is money. Shopping, job, clothing, eating out, travel, bills, tithe, giving. None of these are bad things. None of these things are inherently evil. But my focus on money has been eating up and taking over my life. It's been about Jesus...and what I'm doing with my money. Am I saving enough? Am I paying my bills on time? Do I have enough to travel? And in the end, really, it all just has been about money. Jesus, and the awesomeness of his message and everything he has been about has been pushed aside by my own personal Asherah--money.
Enough. I'm tired of my inner thought life being consumed by cash. Richard said "the kingdom resonates and offends." What the kingdom brings is so appealing, but what I have to give up to bring it about, what it throws in my face, is not so appealing. I know that I cannot end all war, and that I cannot feed every hungry person, but what am I doing to make the kingdom visible to people? What am I doing to bring the kingdom? And most of all, where am I "opening up the vicegrip of my life" so that I can see and experience the kingdom better? For me, I feel like it starts with money. It starts with me re-evaluating my budget. It starts with me tithing fully, not partially. It starts with me paring down my spending habits on eating out and clothes. It starts with me letting go of money as security, and opening my eyes to my role in this kingdom that God wants to bring to the world right now.
I've been finding myself saying more and more these days 'I'm not perfect.' I'm starting to see very clearly that it's true, but there's hope. There is love, there is compassion, and there is life to fullest at the end of that realization. Awesome.
Friday, May 13, 2011
One Of THOSE People
I think I'm going to become one of "those" people. You know, the people you see bicycling around the city with their gear on, rain or shine? Yea. I think I might be on my way to becoming one of them. As you all know, I've been enjoying my bike immensely ever since I've gotten it. Usually it takes me 10-12 minutes to walk home (depending on how fast or slow I'm going), so if I needed to go back to my apartment to get something, it could easily turn into a 30 minute trip including me grabbing what I need and such. Today, it took me ten minutes to bike to my apartment, grab what I needed, feed and pet Shakira, and then get back. And of course I was so excited about that that I forgot to actually SEND the document that I went to my apartment to get until just now. I'm such a ditz sometimes :) It's just such an awesome and convenient mode of transportation--especially in a city like Seattle.
As I'm paying off my debt, I'm thinking of getting out of this apartment managing business and buying my own place. There are so many affordable condos out there, and now that I have a vehicle to commute with, living in Greenwood, Lake City, Shoreline, Maple Leaf, or any of the outskirts of Seattle proper doesn't seem so unappealing. It actually makes them more appealing because I think of how much healthier my body would get having a longer commute.
And when I think of all of the upkeep for a car--payments, insurance, gas, oil changes, etc.--and how expensive it can be, the bike tune ups, new chains, tires, and other gear I need to become a rainy day commuter don't seem as daunting. Sure, it's an investment at first, but having a bike will be easier on the environment, better for my body, and lighter on my pocketbook. I think that if I ever get married, and the situation would be possible, I'd want to be a one car household. It would be nice for myself or whoever I'm with to be able to bike to work, and use the car for recreational activities vs. everyday getting around.
This completely blows my mind because I don't think I would be on this side of this conversation even 6 months ago. I was scared of getting a bike because of hills, my weight, looking stupid, and now, I'm thinking of having a bike as my main source of transportation in the future. Craziness. My life, has changed. I am so thankful!
As I'm paying off my debt, I'm thinking of getting out of this apartment managing business and buying my own place. There are so many affordable condos out there, and now that I have a vehicle to commute with, living in Greenwood, Lake City, Shoreline, Maple Leaf, or any of the outskirts of Seattle proper doesn't seem so unappealing. It actually makes them more appealing because I think of how much healthier my body would get having a longer commute.
And when I think of all of the upkeep for a car--payments, insurance, gas, oil changes, etc.--and how expensive it can be, the bike tune ups, new chains, tires, and other gear I need to become a rainy day commuter don't seem as daunting. Sure, it's an investment at first, but having a bike will be easier on the environment, better for my body, and lighter on my pocketbook. I think that if I ever get married, and the situation would be possible, I'd want to be a one car household. It would be nice for myself or whoever I'm with to be able to bike to work, and use the car for recreational activities vs. everyday getting around.
This completely blows my mind because I don't think I would be on this side of this conversation even 6 months ago. I was scared of getting a bike because of hills, my weight, looking stupid, and now, I'm thinking of having a bike as my main source of transportation in the future. Craziness. My life, has changed. I am so thankful!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Easy Peasy
I ran in 5k for the first time in a LOOOOONNNNG time. I actually ran a bit longer than a 5k--3.25 miles--and my time was 36:07. When I pace it out, each mile I ran was about 11:06; which is awesome! I really did not know if I would make it, but running with a friend and the fact that I KNEW I could do it, got me through. I'm not even worried about the 5k I have this weekend anymore.
This time last year, I could not even run one lap around the track. It's crazy to think that I would be out of breath before even 1/4 of a mile, and here I am running 3.25 miles straight. I know I could run more if I put my mind to it. I've grown leaps and bounds and am SOOOOO proud of myself. In September, I ran my first 5k--the IronGirl. This September, I will run my first 10k at the same event. Easy peasy right?
A coworker came into my office when I was looking for (fashionable) bags to wear when I'm riding my bike, and he was like "what are you trying to do get super fit and hard?" And I joked with him "Yea, I'm going to have a rock hard body." But I admitted after that that's not what I want. I want to be soft, and I think a better descriptor is curvy. I want to be shapely, and womanly, and warm. I want my kids to be able to wrap their arms around me and have a bit of a cushion to lay their heads on. I don't want to be overweight, and I don't want to be flabby, but I definitely want to be soft. Is that weird? I dunno what that weight is, exactly, but I think I'll know it when I see it :)
Man oh man, I am beat. I think I'm going to try yoga for the next two days before my run so I can be flexible and ready to kick but. Okie dokie, I'm gonna post my 30 for 30 pictures and then head to bed. Thank God the week is halfway over!
This time last year, I could not even run one lap around the track. It's crazy to think that I would be out of breath before even 1/4 of a mile, and here I am running 3.25 miles straight. I know I could run more if I put my mind to it. I've grown leaps and bounds and am SOOOOO proud of myself. In September, I ran my first 5k--the IronGirl. This September, I will run my first 10k at the same event. Easy peasy right?
A coworker came into my office when I was looking for (fashionable) bags to wear when I'm riding my bike, and he was like "what are you trying to do get super fit and hard?" And I joked with him "Yea, I'm going to have a rock hard body." But I admitted after that that's not what I want. I want to be soft, and I think a better descriptor is curvy. I want to be shapely, and womanly, and warm. I want my kids to be able to wrap their arms around me and have a bit of a cushion to lay their heads on. I don't want to be overweight, and I don't want to be flabby, but I definitely want to be soft. Is that weird? I dunno what that weight is, exactly, but I think I'll know it when I see it :)
Man oh man, I am beat. I think I'm going to try yoga for the next two days before my run so I can be flexible and ready to kick but. Okie dokie, I'm gonna post my 30 for 30 pictures and then head to bed. Thank God the week is halfway over!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Don't Stop Get It Get It!
I don't know why I love this phrase so much. I use it often. Way too often. It does, however pertain to this post. May 1st was my unofficial first day of refocusing my life back on weight loss and healthier living. Don't get me wrong--every day of my life I think about the choices that I'm making and how I can be better. But, I've been on a kind of hiatus from actively pursuing weight loss. It's been great, but as I'm bicycling and feeling stronger and falling in love with my body as it is, I'm also desiring more. I want to be more fit, I want to run farther, and I want to eat better.
So, I'm going for it. Today I biked 15 miles and challenged myself by biking up harder, bigger hills. And I did it. I got myself up those hills without stopping and I am proud. It reminds me of how powerful I felt when I took control and actively pursued a healthier, fitter lifestyle. I have a few, simple, straightforward goals.
1) Exercise 5 days out of the week.
--This will mostly consist of running and cycling for cardio and yoga for lengthening and strength. On rainy days, I will do some other cardio video at home.
2) Drink water.
--Copious amounts of water. Not diet coke. Water. Not 8 ounces. at least 80.
3) Track my calories
--Everything that I put in my mouth will be tracked on my trusty spark people page. It's a great way to see what I'm putting in my body, and it encourages me to think twice about those sugary sweets I'm so fond of :)
4) Eat more fruits and veggies.
--I can be really terrible about getting all of my fruits and veggies in. I want to eat at least 2 pieces of fruit and 1 serving of veggies per day. I'm not sure if that's the appropriate amount, but it's a start.
5) Curb my sugar addiction
--I love candy. I also love cake, pie, cookies, fruit snacks, brownies ala mode, ice cream. I love sugar. I was most successful and feel the BEST when I let myself have these things occasionally vs. everyday.
6) Blog daily.
--Blogging keeps me accountable. That's pretty much it. I also enjoy writing (most of the time).
7) Continue with my 5k for every month, and run the IronGirl 10k in September
--Run for your rights 5k, May 7th
--Susan G. Komen for the Cure 5k, June 5th (make up for no 5k in April :-/)
--Fremont 5k June 10th
--See Jane Run 5k, July 17th
--Run 4 Thier Lives 5k, Aug 21st
--IronGirl 10k, Sept 11th
Don't stop, get it get it!
So, I'm going for it. Today I biked 15 miles and challenged myself by biking up harder, bigger hills. And I did it. I got myself up those hills without stopping and I am proud. It reminds me of how powerful I felt when I took control and actively pursued a healthier, fitter lifestyle. I have a few, simple, straightforward goals.
1) Exercise 5 days out of the week.
--This will mostly consist of running and cycling for cardio and yoga for lengthening and strength. On rainy days, I will do some other cardio video at home.
2) Drink water.
--Copious amounts of water. Not diet coke. Water. Not 8 ounces. at least 80.
3) Track my calories
--Everything that I put in my mouth will be tracked on my trusty spark people page. It's a great way to see what I'm putting in my body, and it encourages me to think twice about those sugary sweets I'm so fond of :)
4) Eat more fruits and veggies.
--I can be really terrible about getting all of my fruits and veggies in. I want to eat at least 2 pieces of fruit and 1 serving of veggies per day. I'm not sure if that's the appropriate amount, but it's a start.
5) Curb my sugar addiction
--I love candy. I also love cake, pie, cookies, fruit snacks, brownies ala mode, ice cream. I love sugar. I was most successful and feel the BEST when I let myself have these things occasionally vs. everyday.
6) Blog daily.
--Blogging keeps me accountable. That's pretty much it. I also enjoy writing (most of the time).
7) Continue with my 5k for every month, and run the IronGirl 10k in September
--Run for your rights 5k, May 7th
--Susan G. Komen for the Cure 5k, June 5th (make up for no 5k in April :-/)
--Fremont 5k June 10th
--See Jane Run 5k, July 17th
--Run 4 Thier Lives 5k, Aug 21st
--IronGirl 10k, Sept 11th
Don't stop, get it get it!
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