And not that kind of doing it ;) Haha just kidding. I've been dreading my weigh in, dreading what it would be like to start running again and ultimately dreading starting this process again. I was so ashamed of where I had let myself get...back into the 220s, not running at all, eating terribly. I was really ashamed of the fact that I pretty much gained all of that weight in the last 2.5 months of 2011. I had all of these plans, all of these desires, all of these goals...and somehow they just fell to the wayside and instead of losing 15 lbs, I GAINED 15 lbs. Shame spiral 101.
And then I weighed myself. I did it, and came face to face with a number I NEVER thought I'd see again. Back in 2010, I waved goodbye to the 220s, 210s, and said peace out. Well, 226 hello. But I did it, and something in me said, "this is not me. this is not right. I'm better than this." I don't WANT to be better than this, I AM better than this.
So I planned out my meals. I went grocery shopping. I researched "flexitarianism" (basically a plant based diet with occasional meat) and knew it was for me. I did my yoga last night, and I went to bed so that I could get 7 hours of sleep and wake up early in the morning...to run.
I was dreading this run. This was the girl who ran a 5k every month for a year then a 10k this past September. Dreading running. This is not who I am. I ate an apple, drank a bit of water, did my morning reading, and felt like I was going to throw up. I was literally gagging a bit over the toilet (sorry for the TMI), I think it was nerves, but also eating just an apple. Whatevs. Then I got out there.
I went to the track...where it all started in summer of 2010. Where I couldn't even run 1 lap. Where I did pretty much all of my C25k training. And I started to run. I told myself I would at least do 1 mile, but would do 2 miles if it went well. Well, let me tell you, it was so good. It was like...I don't know the reuniting of peanut butter and jelly. Me and running just GO together. Seriously. It was so perfect. There was a light, off and on drizzle, I had the whole track to myself basically, and I ran. I ran at a good pace, and I KILLED that two miles, and felt like I could have done a whole 5k no problem.
I didn't, because I want to get back into the groove without hurting myself, but I did intervals on the way home and ran the last half mile home. It was amazing. All that anxiety, dread, and complacency all dashed by one thing--taking action and just DOING it. My running goal this year of doing a 15k this year without stopping? I'm doing it. My goal of eating healthy, whole, CONSCIOUS food? I'm doing it. My goal of losing 60 lbs? I'm doing it. Nothing, nothing, feels better than doing it.
Showing posts with label priorities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label priorities. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Remembering What "IT" Feels Like
I've completed a whole week of getting back on track--and can I just say it feels amazing?!? Eating healthy, making good choices, allowing myself to make some not so good choices, exercising, trying new things...I feel amazing. I feel like I am in control of my life--at least my health, and it's not like a vice-grip kind of control, but a "I know what I'm doing and I'm doing well" kind of control.
I'm continuing to build the foundation for what I want my life to look like in the future. I want my life to full of fruits and veggies, balanced meals, exercise, fun times with friends, laughter, sleep, relaxation, and all over FULLNESS and BALANCE. I'm creating the person that I want to be, and living the life that I want to have. And IT feels good. So, I'm going to keep going. I'm going to stay on this road, and I'm just going to follow it where it leads me. God is good. :)
I'm continuing to build the foundation for what I want my life to look like in the future. I want my life to full of fruits and veggies, balanced meals, exercise, fun times with friends, laughter, sleep, relaxation, and all over FULLNESS and BALANCE. I'm creating the person that I want to be, and living the life that I want to have. And IT feels good. So, I'm going to keep going. I'm going to stay on this road, and I'm just going to follow it where it leads me. God is good. :)
Monday, August 1, 2011
Cash Flow...
So this whole tithe thing is freaking me out a little bit. It's like I'm finding money everywhere in my apartment. I sold that phone, I just sold a nintendo ds lite that I got for free for $60, and I just got together a bunch of books and textbooks that I haven't touched in years (or know I won't read again) and sold them for $150. Well, I've tentatively sold them for $150. I'll have to see if they're all accepted. Good news is that shipping is free :) That's over $300 in the past 24 hours or so. Craziness. God is good.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Test Me In This
Malachi 3:6-10
6 “I the LORD do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed. 7 Ever since the time of your ancestors you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you,” says the LORD Almighty.
“But you ask, ‘How are we to return?’
8 “Will a mere mortal rob God? Yet you rob me.
“But you ask, ‘How are we robbing you?’
“In tithes and offerings.
9 You are under a curse—your whole nation—because you are robbing me. 10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. 11 I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not drop their fruit before it is ripe,” says the LORD Almighty. 12 “Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land,” says the LORD Almighty.
My parents always quote this verse when they talk about tithing. They say it's one of the only places in the Bible where God says to "test him" and see how his faithfulness unfolds. Well I decided to do that very thing, and God has already shown his faithfulness.
I was headed to the AT&T booth because I saw a bunch of people with backpacks and I thought "hmm, maybe I can get something to carry my stuff." So, I headed over there and got in line, and saw they were giving away free phones to some people who won the little game they played. It was random, and people were getting backpacks. When we first walked up someone got a phone, but everyone else was getting backpacks. So, we're waiting in line patiently, laughing and joking around, when a guy comes up and starts counting people in line. Then, the people in front of us won a phone. We cheer, and then the guys says "AND EVERYONE IN LINE WINS A PHONE!!!!" All of us got a phone, and mobile projector to go with the phone.
I just sold that phone and projector for $150. Money that I never would have had if I hadn't done that race (and stuck to my commitment), if I hadn't decided to get in line, and ultimately, I believe, if I hadn't decided to"test God" and see how he would provide. Some may call it coincidence, I call it God's faithfulness and provision. God is good.
**I have to say that I just realized that the money I'm getting from ebay is exactly equal to the tithe that I'm paying this week. It blows my mind!
6 “I the LORD do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed. 7 Ever since the time of your ancestors you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you,” says the LORD Almighty.
“But you ask, ‘How are we to return?’
8 “Will a mere mortal rob God? Yet you rob me.
“But you ask, ‘How are we robbing you?’
“In tithes and offerings.
9 You are under a curse—your whole nation—because you are robbing me. 10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. 11 I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not drop their fruit before it is ripe,” says the LORD Almighty. 12 “Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land,” says the LORD Almighty.
My parents always quote this verse when they talk about tithing. They say it's one of the only places in the Bible where God says to "test him" and see how his faithfulness unfolds. Well I decided to do that very thing, and God has already shown his faithfulness.
I was headed to the AT&T booth because I saw a bunch of people with backpacks and I thought "hmm, maybe I can get something to carry my stuff." So, I headed over there and got in line, and saw they were giving away free phones to some people who won the little game they played. It was random, and people were getting backpacks. When we first walked up someone got a phone, but everyone else was getting backpacks. So, we're waiting in line patiently, laughing and joking around, when a guy comes up and starts counting people in line. Then, the people in front of us won a phone. We cheer, and then the guys says "AND EVERYONE IN LINE WINS A PHONE!!!!" All of us got a phone, and mobile projector to go with the phone.
I just sold that phone and projector for $150. Money that I never would have had if I hadn't done that race (and stuck to my commitment), if I hadn't decided to get in line, and ultimately, I believe, if I hadn't decided to"test God" and see how he would provide. Some may call it coincidence, I call it God's faithfulness and provision. God is good.
**I have to say that I just realized that the money I'm getting from ebay is exactly equal to the tithe that I'm paying this week. It blows my mind!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Speaking of Priorities
So after that general post about priorities and needing to get mine in check, I've been wanting to write a blog talking about what my life priorities are. It's hard because I'm sure they're going to change as I grow and change, and honestly, sometimes I think I know what I want--but I really don't. Yep, I admit it, I don't always know what's best for me. However, that is helped by the fact that my faith says that I have a helper--someone who has an amazing future, all the resources in the world, and an incredible, infallible love for me--and so with that guy by my side, I'm feeling pretty confident.
A priority is something that you set as important--your number one priority is something that is set in importance over everything else. My priorities have been screwed up lately, and I just want to state for the record--my record--that I want my priorities to change. I want to be a better person. I want to live my life to the fullest. I want to be everything that I was made to be.
So what does that mean? It means my number one priority has shifted back to my faith. Seeking God, and what he wants for my life takes precedence over everything else. It shapes all of my decisions, and my faith with help guide me. I know for some people this is unfamiliar, and probably seems foolish. I'm ok with that. Let me just say that I know that christianity has been represented and lived out by many people in offensive, hurtful, and unattractive ways--including myself. I know that the Bible can be confusing, and that it seems to contradict itself at times, and that it's stories seem far fetched and sometimes pretty crazy. I know pretty much all of the slams and reasons why people don't like christianity or christians. I've experienced some of those same feelings, been mistreated by people who were supposed to be "loving" and have questioned my faith multiple times.
But there's something in me, something that just knows God is real. There is something inside of me that clings to the hope and faith in a God who is good, loving, trustworthy, faithful, kind, merciful, generous, and forgiving. There's something inside of me that can't help getting excited about a faith that lifts up the underdog, that celebrates and embraces the misfits. There's a whole part of me that is intrigued and challenged when I hear things like "turn the other cheek," and "love your enemies." There's a part of my heart that soars when I see that Jesus came to help the poor, set the captives free, and bring equality to all people. There's that fact that I can identify with so many flawed people in the stories and chapters that God loved and used in wonderful ways despite their inadequacies. I can't get away from it, and no matter how hard I've tried, I can't deny that what I've experienced, seen, and just KNOW, is that God is real. So that's what shapes my life.
So there's that. My faith is going to obviously going to have an influence over my other priorities. And I've been (kinda) thinking about it a bit, and these are the ones that I've mostly come to:
Healthy living. I want my body to be healthy. I want to be strong, fit, and full of life. Exercise and eating well are going to be made priorities in my life. Getting enough sleep is also on the list.
Being generous with my time and money. I know how to give what's comfortable. I know how to have money automatically deducted from my account to causes that I like, but don't really have to think about. I want to be better about being conscious of what I'm doing with my money, as well as being better at giving my time to important causes. I don't just want to throw money at things, I want to be involved, and to truly CARE about those things.
Being there for my current friends, and developing new and deeper friendships with others. I love the people that I've surrounded myself with, and I want to be better at being open and friendly with others, as well as consistent with the friends I've lost contact with or who aren't in my immediate life vicinity.
Being financially responsible. I have a wonderful budget that I follow most of the time, and it's helped me pay off multiple debts. I want to be better at following that budget, and really getting my spending habits under control. I'm a shopaholic, and I want to be better at saying no to things that I don't need. I also want to continue to save, invest, and give more. I also want to live a life where I'm able to have fun, travel, and have all of what I need, and what I want in moderation.
Praying. Hmm, that just randomly popped in my head. I feel like I'm pretty terrible at prayer. I'm a rambler, and it's easy for me to get sidetracked and distracted. But after that experience during 40 days of prayer, and recently with everything that's been happening with friends--where I feel totally helpless--I'm finding that prayer give me comfort and peace. And hey, I believe it never hurts to ask right? Right. I'm not sure how this one is going to look, but I'm just going to go with it.
Alright, I think those are some good priorities. They speak to who I am, and what's important to me. Ok, I gotta start my yoga, then it's off to bed. Yay for 3 days weekends!!!!
A priority is something that you set as important--your number one priority is something that is set in importance over everything else. My priorities have been screwed up lately, and I just want to state for the record--my record--that I want my priorities to change. I want to be a better person. I want to live my life to the fullest. I want to be everything that I was made to be.
So what does that mean? It means my number one priority has shifted back to my faith. Seeking God, and what he wants for my life takes precedence over everything else. It shapes all of my decisions, and my faith with help guide me. I know for some people this is unfamiliar, and probably seems foolish. I'm ok with that. Let me just say that I know that christianity has been represented and lived out by many people in offensive, hurtful, and unattractive ways--including myself. I know that the Bible can be confusing, and that it seems to contradict itself at times, and that it's stories seem far fetched and sometimes pretty crazy. I know pretty much all of the slams and reasons why people don't like christianity or christians. I've experienced some of those same feelings, been mistreated by people who were supposed to be "loving" and have questioned my faith multiple times.
But there's something in me, something that just knows God is real. There is something inside of me that clings to the hope and faith in a God who is good, loving, trustworthy, faithful, kind, merciful, generous, and forgiving. There's something inside of me that can't help getting excited about a faith that lifts up the underdog, that celebrates and embraces the misfits. There's a whole part of me that is intrigued and challenged when I hear things like "turn the other cheek," and "love your enemies." There's a part of my heart that soars when I see that Jesus came to help the poor, set the captives free, and bring equality to all people. There's that fact that I can identify with so many flawed people in the stories and chapters that God loved and used in wonderful ways despite their inadequacies. I can't get away from it, and no matter how hard I've tried, I can't deny that what I've experienced, seen, and just KNOW, is that God is real. So that's what shapes my life.
So there's that. My faith is going to obviously going to have an influence over my other priorities. And I've been (kinda) thinking about it a bit, and these are the ones that I've mostly come to:
Healthy living. I want my body to be healthy. I want to be strong, fit, and full of life. Exercise and eating well are going to be made priorities in my life. Getting enough sleep is also on the list.
Being generous with my time and money. I know how to give what's comfortable. I know how to have money automatically deducted from my account to causes that I like, but don't really have to think about. I want to be better about being conscious of what I'm doing with my money, as well as being better at giving my time to important causes. I don't just want to throw money at things, I want to be involved, and to truly CARE about those things.
Being there for my current friends, and developing new and deeper friendships with others. I love the people that I've surrounded myself with, and I want to be better at being open and friendly with others, as well as consistent with the friends I've lost contact with or who aren't in my immediate life vicinity.
Being financially responsible. I have a wonderful budget that I follow most of the time, and it's helped me pay off multiple debts. I want to be better at following that budget, and really getting my spending habits under control. I'm a shopaholic, and I want to be better at saying no to things that I don't need. I also want to continue to save, invest, and give more. I also want to live a life where I'm able to have fun, travel, and have all of what I need, and what I want in moderation.
Praying. Hmm, that just randomly popped in my head. I feel like I'm pretty terrible at prayer. I'm a rambler, and it's easy for me to get sidetracked and distracted. But after that experience during 40 days of prayer, and recently with everything that's been happening with friends--where I feel totally helpless--I'm finding that prayer give me comfort and peace. And hey, I believe it never hurts to ask right? Right. I'm not sure how this one is going to look, but I'm just going to go with it.
Alright, I think those are some good priorities. They speak to who I am, and what's important to me. Ok, I gotta start my yoga, then it's off to bed. Yay for 3 days weekends!!!!
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