Friday, May 13, 2011

Gaining Life

I am so happy to have the life that I have now. I'm happy because I have chosen it--and it's full, happy, and good. A couple of years ago, you would have found me full of fear, waiting for other people to accompany me before I did anything else, and not willing to try new things. I can't remember exactly the moment (although if I read back into my blogs I could probably find it), but I do remember God pulling me out of my fear, and teaching me that there is nothing to fear when I have his love surrounding and supporting me. This quote helped me as well :"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live" Dorothy Thompson

I have done so many new things with my new life, and one that has absolutely changed my life is running. This time last year, I was in the beginning of my weight loss journey. I was working out at home, doing Jillian Michaels videos and DDR, and feeling pretty damn good. I was getting bored, and with summer coming around, I knew I wanted to get outside. So what about running? I have always wanted to be a runner. Here's a blog post from April 11, 2007:

"Now, as far as health, I really want to shed some pounds. And, honestly, I want to look even better in my clothes ;) Here's a goal: to bring out my inner runner. My dad was a runner. My brother was a runner...my mum was a runner. I've had dreams of me running and feeling so amazing and free...having that dull burn in my lungs and the tingling in my legs but not wanted to stop because it felt so good...I feel like my body is craving that. My whole family (including me) is/was athletic. So, I'm going to try to bring out my inner athlete. Who's my competition? Myself. Who am I doing this for? myself. I don't feel like it's even a situation of "i want to look on the outside like I feel on the inside" Because I feel great in general. I just want to be able to love my arms. I want to not have to suck my tummy in so much...I want to be confident all over. We'll see what develops eh? Yes."

I had wanted it for so long, and finally, I decided that I was going to do it. Cue the couch to 5k training and in July I started running. Now, let me tell you, I had NEVER run a lap around a track. I was the girl who walked the mile, who "ran the curves and walked the straights," but never a whole lap. I remember the feeling, running around the track and realizing that I ran a whole lap. A WHOLE LAP! Then I ran two, then I ran three. I couldn't believe it--but really I could. I've always wanted it. I've always known that I could do it, but fear held me back.

Now I'm here today, just recently having run 4 miles straight without stopping, and to be honest--I know I can run more. I've run a 5k for every month--except March when I climbed 70 flights of stairs--and I've seen my body change and grow leaner and stronger. I'm training for a 10k, with a goal of running a half marathon next year. A half marathon?!? I can barely believe it. But once again, I can. Because I'm a runner. I've always been a runner. It's been in my heart and my gut all these years and I just had to let go of the fear and do it. I am so, so, so, proud of myself and my accomplishments.

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